Watching Barack

I know.  Shit happened.  Haven’t posted in a while.  We’ll deal.

Watching Barack Obama’s 8:00 special.  Oh, it’s pretty damn cool.  It kind of plays like a commercial.

Livebloggish

• When I buy a gallon of milk, I’m pretty goddamn sure it’s a gallon.  That’s just me.
• His mom called him ‘Buster’.  I wish MY MOM called ME buster.
• Little sister is totally rocking the saxophone upstairs.  Well, rocking may be a slightly liberal word, but she’s well on her way to saxophone-face-melting!
• Staged Uno moment.  Awesome
• Love the red/blue tie combo on Barack/Biden!
• Felt a lot like an infomercial, but if he was selling me a super-ab-buster for the low low price of 19.99 a month I’d so be buying one right now.

Liveblogging the Veep Debate

Yes, I’m back.  Lets’ go.

9:00 – Oh Mrs. Palin, you’re so scrappy! “Can I call you Joe?” I wish he said “FUCK YOU BITCH! YOU CALL ME PAPPA BIDEN!”

9:01 – Say Main Street one more time Joe Biden and I swear to god I’ll kill you.

9:02 – SOCCER ISN’T AMERICAN YOU PINKO-COMMIE BITCH! Just kidding, you’re adorable.

9:04 – Re: Biden – sick burn!

9:04 – Re: Palin – … oh my god, that was actually a good retort…

9:05 – Mrs. Palin please realize, there is nothing ‘new’ about John McCain! He’s older than anyone!

9:06 – Mrs. Palin, who the fuck is “joe six-pack”?!?!

9:08 – Judging from CNN’s “uncommited Ohio voters” real-time poll, bitches love Joe Biden!

9:10 – Know why Biden isn’t doing so well? Palin’s American flag pin is cuter.

9:12 – If Sarah Palin doesn’t inject herself with endangered whale blood every day, she looks just like Elenore Roosevelt.

9:18 – So far the only person I support during this debate is the moderator, Gwen.

9:19 – Seriously, bitches love Biden.

9:23 – My friend, paraphrased “Palin had 5 weeks to get ready.  Britney cleaned herself up on 2.  What’s Palin’s excuse?!”

9:28 – According to Palin, we can’t allow an emissions gap!!

9:32 – Dear Biden: thank you for supporting gay marriage.  Also, premium gin is making this debate awesome.

9:36 – Didn’t the Republicans hate Petraus like 2 months ago?

9:37 – Nevermind, that was moveon.org

9:40 – Mr. Biden – never pray god again please kthnxbye!

9:45 – Whitley Neill is an awesome gin.  Making this so much better

9:47 – To be fair, The Princess Bride taught me you really can’t trust a Spaniard!

9:53 – Yeah.  Let’s surge Afghanistan too.  While we’re at it, let’s surge Spain!!! FUCK IT! Let’s surge The Netherlands! Pot-loving hookers! All must die!!!

9:56 – Dear Joe Biden, Sometimes you can make the same point with 1/3 the words.  Just sayin’.  Love, RWH.

10:00 – Joe Biden wants to take a hard stand with Dick Lugar.  Fact.

10:01 – Sarah Palin : love her or hate her (hate her) she’s an excellent debator.

10:08 – Mrs. Palin – Dog Gonnet?!?!?!?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You can be accepted and still be smart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:11 – L. just called me out.  I like Biden because he looks Asian.

10:14 – LOL – Palin is governor of a huge state.  A huge state with no one living in it.

10:24 – Getting drunker by the second.  Direct quote by LN “it that whats written on the rosetta stone “john mccain wuz here”"

10:29 – Who won this debate? Whoever imports Whitley Neill gin.  That’s who.

Moments From The Weekend -or- What I’ll Be Writing About Later

1. Left my driver’s lisence at home, only got into the bar because I’m balding and thus definitely over 21
2. Stripper-pole = Hilarity
3. I think the Lyme might be coming back
4. Big drunk asian friend of mine kissed me on the lips, awkwaaaaard
5. Must defeat the Beer-Heaven beer list
6. Need to go to work for about 2 hours today, lame!

Don’t lie, I know you miss me!

I’m Sorry!

I really want to avoid any sort of politics (it’s right up there with religion as the best thing to talk about if you want to ruin a nice Thanksgiving dinner with the family) but I kind of felt this required mentioning.

While she was mayor of Wasilla, the police department of that booming Alaskan ‘city’ were asked if they could please stop charging rape victims for forensic testing.

The police department said “yeahbutno”. (found thanks to the lovely Violet Blue)

That is all.

To apologize, let me show you the following video.

Recently, Jeremy Clarkson (of Top Gear) rescinded his declaration that all M3 owners are cocks.  Instead, Audi owners (especially the much coveted RS4, drool) are the new cocks.

Now, I’m choosing to define cock as someone with a blowout and a popped collar (if not more).  The dude in the video looks way more earth-love than tanning-salon.

Maybe I should, you know, start working now.

I Love Ice

Ice makes everything better

…

For the record, I mean the frozen water stuff that you put on things that hurt.  Not crystal meth.

Crystal meth doesn’t make anything better.

Shin Splints -or- OHJESUSFUCKGODCHRIST MY LEGS!

A funny thing happened while running today.

Now let me start by defining funny.

• Not funny like a man getting hit in the crotch with a football
• Not funny like your grandma has too much to drink at Christmas
• Not funny, in fact, in any way whatsoever.

It was 8:00, and really way too dark out to be running.  I’m a TERRIBLE judge of how fast I’m running, that’s why I bought the lovely Nike Plus system.  It tells me, so I don’t have to make it all the fuck up.  WELL, can’t read the watch in the dark, which meant that I way underjudged the run today and was going way too slow.

Now, running too slow is okay if you’re taking long strides.  I wasn’t really doing that, my knees were pretty sore from yesterday.

Ever have shin splints?  Fun fact, they can be caused by running like a dipshit (like I was) and are a sign of one of two things.  Either you wore out the muscle in front of your shins, which is small (think about your leg, how giant the back of your shin is and how you can practically see bone in the front.  then remember that muscles work in pairs) or stress fractures down your bone.

My friend and I run down a track, which is nice and soft and easier on my lyme-riddled knees.  After about 4-5 laps I noticed my legs were hurting, and we walked a bit at 6.  By ten I was trying super hard not to limp, and had to call it.

In retrospect, we might not have even made it ten.

This is 100% lame.

Supervisor Meeting

Big monthly meeting in the office today.

So far supervisors are 10 minutes late.

Don’t get pissed. Don’t get pissed.

As Long As I’m Still Drunk

The Queen Bee isn’t answering her phone (technically, I called her and she didn’t pick up before, then I missed her calls, it’s telephone tag at it’s finest), however while we’re not chatting let me express myself before the alcohol wares off.

Running.

A friend and I have been running pretty regularly lately, and it’s amazing how much easier it is to do in pairs.  I’m not even positive this is tying into my unnaturally competitive nature (edit : I originally typed religious… how odd!), it’s seriously just easier to run with someone else.  Everything I’ve read/heard says you’re supposed to be easier to hold a conversation while running, they just never said anything about what the conversation should cover.

I believe our first was about a dream, while on the phone with the Queen Bee, which caused me to start talking about the High Evolutionary.  Very nerdy and awesome stuff.

Today it was raining too hard for me to run, which was quite horrid.  See, the olympics have given me a terrible body image – I’m too scrawny!  Must bulk up!

Will chat more later?

Drinks + Mother = Coversation?

I left work today at 7:00 PM.

Normally I would complain, and to be fair that really sucks.  I go to work at 8:00 (… okay… 8:30) and because I’m on salary I stopped getting paid at 4:00.  There’s no overtime at GHP, so I was just working extra to get work done.

At the same time, with some of my more -annoying- coworkers gone, I was able to get a lot more work done.

However, that means I got home at 8:00, which is really late.  I asked a friend of mine to pick me up a bottle of gin (I was completely dry) and once I got home I quickly started to ‘enjoy’ the bottle to it’s utmost.

Oh, and ‘enjoy’I did.

After three drinks and dinner stress was lifting.  After four, I was deep in conversation with my mother.  Another drink later and we’re still talking about god-knows-what, but suddenly it’s 10:30 and the Queen Bee is going to be rightfully upset if I don’t call soon.

Now, this has happened before, and maybe it’s an Irish thing, but I find it very strange that I get along best with my parents after a few cocktails.  I mean, maybe it’s a bad thing (and it most likely is) but I think, for now, it’s a bad thing that I’m more than willing to embrace!

Flowchart : Should I Eat Bacon?